Sarah J. Blige

…But if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need!

Last spring (2011) I made the decision to go to Bikram Yoga Teacher Training (BYTT) in LA. I was beyond excited to embark on my journey, pursuing a career that I had only ever dreamed about but never thought could become a reality. I bounced through the airport and up to the Customs booth where my dream-come-true quickly became my worst nightmare: I was refused entry to the US. The Customs agents said I needed a student visa, and although I found out shortly thereafter this was untrue, my journey ended before it even began. I was devastated, but determined to find a solution to this unforeseeable problem. The team at BY Headquarters was very sympathetic and supportive, and assured me they would honor my tuition for the fall training session.

I began Karma Cleaning at the studio and within a month I joined the front desk crew. I was then offered the role of General Manager and seized this amazing opportunity, one that would not have arisen had I made it through to LA last spring.

Finally, after five months of anticipation, I was ready to try for the second time to make it to LA for the fall session of BYTT. I was so nervous that I would be refused entry again — even with my massive stack of paperwork supporting my ties to Canada — that I threw up in a garbage can at the airport (sorry, TMI) and felt like my heart was pounding through my chest as I neared the dreaded Customs booth. Unsurprisingly, I was sent to the secondary questioning room and grilled for a second time. And after what felt like days but was only about one hour, I was permitted entry. I have never felt such relief and overwhelming joy like I did in that moment.

We have just finished week one of training, and the main lesson so far (from the first time around when I didn’t make it through and felt like my dreams had been shattered, to the end of this intense first week) has been to let go of all expectations and trust that each and every moment is playing out exactly as it should be.

My practice has been nothing like it was back home, and every time I feel like I’ve got a handle on things, I’m slapped in the face with the realization that expecting, planning, and anticipating is nothing more than a colossal waste of time. I’m trusting in the Universe and this surreal experience, understanding and accepting that every day is full of new surprises, and even if they don’t make any sense at the time, eventually I’ll be able to put the pieces together and look back on the big, beautiful, complete picture.

If spring 2011 had been the right time for me to attend teacher training, it would have worked out. But here I am now, giving thanks to the Universe for taking care of me and feeling so blessed for every moment of this amazing experience, blood, sweat, tears, and all.