Sarah J. Blige

The musings of Ms. Blige

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Lonely is healing if you make it

March 19th, 2011 · Arts and Culture, Inspired, Poetry

A friend recently showed me this beautiful little video by Tanya Davis called How to Be Alone, which, unsurprisingly, is about being okay (and ultimately being happy) with being alone. I was moved by the simplicity and truth in this lovely little poem, and inspired by her uniquely courageous and unapologetic perspective of solitude and loneliness.

It is quite easy to become dependent on others, and many of us become so immersed in our relationships that bits and pieces of our identity slip away until we are only able to define ourselves through our relationships with others. We often neglect ourselves by serving others and we forget that we can’t give fully to someone else until we truly know and love ourselves. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not against love and human connection and exploring ourselves through our relationships with other people; I, like Ms. Davis, simply believe that there is much to be gained by forming and exploring a deep relationship with the self and not being afraid to do so in the comfort of your aloneness. In one of my favorite parts of the poem, Tanya writes,

Society is afraid of alone though. Like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements. Like people must have problems if after awhile nobody is dating them.

But lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it.

Maybe you’ve chosen to be alone, or perhaps you’ve been “left”; whatever the case may be, don’t be afraid to sit in the quiet of your solitude and become an observer of your thoughts and feelings. Be gentle with yourself, and enjoy the unique and liberating journey of self-exploration. “You’ll find it’s fine to be alone once you’re embracing it.”

Learn more about Tanya Davis and read her other poems and blog entries here. (I’ve copied the poem below from another site, so please forgive any errors I may have missed.)

How To Be Alone, by Tanya Davis

If you are at first lonely, be patient.

If you’ve not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren’t okay with it, then just wait. You’ll find it’s fine to be alone once you’re embracing it.

We can start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library, where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books; you’re not supposed to talk much anyway so it’s safe there.

There is also the gym, if you’re shy, you can hang out with yourself in mirrors, you can put headphones in.

Then there’s public transportation, because we all gotta go places.

And there’s prayer and meditation, no one will think less if you’re hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Start simple. Things you may have previously avoided based on your avoid-being-alone principles.

The lunch counter, where you will be surrounded by “chow downers”, employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town, and they, like you, will be alone.

Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.

When you are comfortable with “eat lunch and run”, take yourself out for dinner; a restaurant with linen and silverware. You’re no less an intriguing a person when you are eating solo desert and cleaning the whip cream from the dish with your finger. In fact, some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

Go to the movies, where it’s dark and soothing, alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community.

And then take yourself out dancing, to a club where no one knows you, stand on the outside of the floor until the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one’s watching, because they’re probably not. And if they are, assume it is with best and human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats, is after-all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you’re sweating. And beads of perspiration remind you of life’s best things, down your back, like a book of blessings.

Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you. Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, there are always statues to talk to, and benches made for sitting, gives strangers a shared existence if only for a minute, and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversations you get in by sitting alone on benches might have never happened had you not been there by yourself.

Society is afraid of alone though. Like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements. Like people must have problems if after awhile nobody is dating them.

But lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it.

You can stand swathed by groups and mobs or hold hands with your partner, look both further and farther in the endless quest for company.

But no one is in your head. And by the time you translate your thoughts some essence of them maybe lost, or perhaps it is just kept. Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself. Perhaps all those “sappy slogans” from pre-school over to high school groaning, were tokens for holding the lonely at bay.

Cause if you’re happy in your head, then solitude is blessed, and alone is okay.

It’s okay if no one believes like you, all experiences unique, no one has the same synapses, can’t think like you, for this be relieved, keeps things interesting, life’s magic things in reach. And it doesn’t mean you aren’t connected, and the community is not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it.

Take silence and respect it.

If you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it. If your family doesn’t get you or a religious sect is not meant for you, don’t obsess about it.

You could be in an instant surrounded if you need it.

If your heart is bleeding, make the best of it.

There is heat in freezing, be a testament.

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Marvel at Nature

March 10th, 2011 · Inspired

In the case of the seahorse, it’s the female that deposits up to 1,500 eggs into the male’s brood pouch.  The male carries these eggs for a period between nine and 45 days (kind of incredible that the gestation period can vary so greatly) before releasing tiny but fully-developed seahorses into the water…and then taking off, leaving the offspring to fend for themselves.

About their courtship, Wikipedia says,

Before breeding, seahorses court for several days. Scientists believe the courtship behavior synchronizes the animals’ movements so that the male can receive the eggs when the female is ready to deposit them. During this time they may change color, swim side by side holding tails or grip the same strand of sea grass with their tails and wheel around in unison in what is known as a “pre-dawn dance”. They eventually engage in a “true courtship dance” lasting about 8 hours, during which the male pumps water through the egg pouch on his trunk which expands and opens to display its emptiness. When the female’s eggs reach maturity, she and her mate let go of any anchors and snout-to-snout, drift upward out of the seagrass, often spiraling as they rise. The female inserts her ovipositor into the male’s brood pouch and deposits dozens to thousands of eggs. As the female releases her eggs, her body slims while his swells. Both animals then sink back into the seagrass and she swims away.

An eight-hour love dance and instant slimming upon conception? Sounds like the females have it pretty good. The males, on the other hand, may be in labor for up to three days. It is unknown why there is a reproductive role reversal (the male seahorse carrying the offspring through gestation rather than the female), but nonetheless, the seahorse is a perfect example of the wonder and mysteries in nature.

Check out the video below (try to ignore the cheesy love-making music) and watch it through to the end to see the amazing birthing process and the incredibly tiny seahorses that emerge from the male’s pouch.

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Take Off Your Cool

March 6th, 2011 · The Yoga Diaries

I’ve been told by more than one person that I’ve got a “too cool for school” kind of ‘tude. Thankfully, it’s been a while since anyone has said this to me, and it isn’t simply a coincidence.

For years, I spent a lot of time putting up walls around myself and would never leave the house without full armor. I didn’t want anyone to see how small and fragile I was, and I certainly didn’t want anyone to get to know the girl who was hiding behind that portable fortress. I was terrified of allowing myself to be vulnerable because I was sure I’d be hurt as soon as I let down my guard. I really wanted to let people in, to be open and honest and unafraid of judgment, but I couldn’t seem to relax and be my true self when it actually came down to it. Among the hundreds of lessons that yoga has taught me, one of the most valuable has been how to let down my defenses and “take off my cool”.

Bikram yoga can be a very intimidating experience at first, particularly for someone like myself, who, at one point, didn’t even feel comfortable walking around half-naked at home alone. It’s bright and hot, your shorts are riding up your bum, and a pool of sweat is slowly forming around your feet. And it only gets harder as the class progresses. Your struggle is evident, and there’s nowhere to hide. You stare at  your grimacing face in the mirror and think, “I can’t believe how frightening I look right now.” But your thoughts are quickly interrupted by the instructor yelling, “Lock your knee, lock your knee, lock your knee!” Your knee locks and you forget about your bum hanging out of your shorts and the sweat pouring into your eyes. You feel delighted and empowered as a small smile stretches across your face. Standing bow pose is next, and you imagine yourself gracefully lowering your body and stretching your leg high into the air behind you like Natalie Portman in Black Swan. And then you fall forward, narrowly missing the extended leg of the burly gentleman in front of you. You become flustered and embarrassed and angry at yourself for not being able to stick it like you thought you could. You then hear the instructor’s gentle encouragement and realize its directed at you. “Don’t worry if you fall out of the posture, just get right back in.” So you stand up slowly, wipe the sweat from your hands, and try again. And an amazing thing happens: you gracefully lower your body down and stretch your leg high into the air behind you just like Natalie Portman in Black Swan.

I struggled in my yoga class today. It took me a while to notice, but about halfway through class I realized I was being very judgmental of myself and recognized that it was actually making the class more difficult, and unsurprisingly, far less enjoyable. I started crying softly at one point and just allowed it to happen without feeling ashamed or defeated. I took a bit of a breather and when I felt confident that the emotional release had passed I rejoined the class in their struggle and triumph. Floor Bow pose was up next and although I intended to execute the asana flawlessly, I looked more like a drowning spider than a perfect bow. Instead of allowing it get to me, I just giggled and let it go.

These sorts of yoga inspired triumphs and epiphanies happen all the time and are totally transferable to your life outside of the yoga room. Regular practice enables you to quickly recognize self judgment and nip that scathing (and lying) inner voice in the bud. In each class you attend that nagging insecurity becomes quieter and less persistent, and eventually it only makes an appearance once in a great while on a particularly crappy day. I’ve learned how to embrace vulnerability in the yoga room, which is a completely safe place free of judgment and persecution, and this has inspired me to be far less guarded outside of the studio as well. Bikram yoga teaches acceptance and self love, and also improves confidence and self esteem. It helps you to build and nurture your relationship with the self, which extends to and improves your relationships with others. It shows you how much there is to gain by opening your heart and letting down your guard, and how much there is to lose by trying to be in control of it all.

“Behind all this, some great happiness is hiding.”
— Yehuda Amichai

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Effective Advertising

March 3rd, 2011 · Arts and Culture

I don’t watch TV. I own a TV (it’s old and clunky and doesn’t lie flat against the wall), but I don’t watch television. Conveniently, we’re able to find most TV shows on the internet, and this is where I watch them — sometimes, and almost never for more than an hour at a time. I don’t pay for cable (or even own an antenna) for a couple of reasons: I don’t want to spend my time mindlessly absorbing the (mostly) crap being spewed from this box, and I also don’t want to add to the sensory rape of ubiquitous and ever-pervasive advertising. (Why would I pay a mega-corporation to make me fat, lazy, and greedy? I’m perfectly capable of doing that all by myself, thank you very much.)

Like most people, I used to get home from work, turn on the TV, and flip through the channels over and over again until I found something acceptable to watch. If I didn’t find anything that sufficiently tickled my fancy, I’d usually still leave the TV on for a false sense of comfort; like a dog whose owners have left the radio on upon leaving the house, I’d let the sounds from the TV fill my home, listening to the same cheesy joke I’d already heard Chandler make nine times before, and ignorantly inviting clever advertising agencies to subtly and subconsciously brainwash me until I suddenly felt the urge to go buy a new mascara.

So now, instead of letting the boob tube yell at me and infect my brain with nonsense, I pick up a book, go to a yoga class, phone a friend, hang with my fur babies, bake some cookies, do some writing… something that makes me happy. I also try (not always successfully) to ignore the women’s magazines at the grocery store, because although I truly love fashion, I’m disgusted by both the frequency and content of the ads in these magazines. (Case in point: I just picked up an old issue of InStyle and counted 21 two-page ads before the table of contents. It’s also clear that the number of ads far outweighs the actual articles and fashion spreads throughout this magazine.) I also subscribe to Adbusters to help combat some of the unavoidable assault from commercial forces. (If you haven’t yet checked out this wonderful publication, I urge you to do so: the quality of your life may depend on it. In their own words, “Adbusters offers incisive philosophical articles as well as activist commentary from around the world addressing issues ranging from genetically modified foods to media concentration.”) Adbusters runs spoof ads in both the print and online versions of their magazine, like the immensely disturbing (but, ahem, effective) one above.

From http://www.ibelieveinadv.com/

A friend recently sent me the “ad” on the right, which was followed by a discussion about how and why this imagery was more effective in conveying it’s message than the more extreme, grotesque and violent images used by organizations like PETA toward the same end. (Side note: to clarify, this isn’t really an ad in that it’s trying to sell a product or service, but it is attempting to convince its audience of a particular idea.) I said, “I think this image is more effective at conveying the absurdity of wearing fur than most of PETA’s bloody and gruesome ads.” To which she responded, “I totally agree. I think we’ve also become so desensitized to gruesome imagery that most people don’t even flinch when they see the ads.” But I flinched when I saw this, and then I smirked and thought to myself ‘how delightfully clever’.

My dearest friend Jason (happy birthday, buddy!) posted the video below on Facebook today. This is such a spot on spoof of those terribly cheesy ads pharmaceutical companies put out to promote one of their millions of medications, but the most awesome thing about it is that everything Mr. Smiley is saying is true. Touché.

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Irina Werning Photography: Back to the Future

February 18th, 2011 · Arts and Culture, Inspired

Lately I’ve been having dreams in which I’m my adult self reliving one of my childhood memories. In these dreams, sometimes the present me interacts with the past me; sometimes the present me is the past me; and still other times the present me becomes the past me, or vice versa. I often wonder how things would have played out had I been a different version of myself in various situations. Many cells in our bodies regenerate after so many years, making us physiologically different versions of our past selves. We’re also intellectually and emotionally shaped by our life circumstances and we exist in a constant state of growth of change. But wouldn’t it be amazing if we really could go back in time and relive some of our favorite memories?

Irina Werning is a photographer who grew up and studied in Buenos Aires, later moving to London to complete a Master of Photographic Journalism at Westminster University. In a project entitled Back to the Future, Irina invited people from old photographs to recreate those captured moments as their present selves. The result is eery and captivating. Here are some of my favorites:

FLOR, MALE, SIL IN 1983 & 2010

Nico in 1986 & 2010, Buenos Aires

BENN AND DAN IN 1979 & 2010, London

Irina's parents, 970 & 2010, Buenos Aires

Cecile, 1987 & 2010, France

Lali, 1978 & 2010, Buenos Aires

Irina is also inspired by a very photogenic Chinese crested dog named Chini, whom she dresses up and photographs in various scenarios and places. He’s quite dashing, and you can check out some of his shots in The Chini Project. Here’s a little preview of his fine work:

Chini Tourist

To see more of Irina Werning’s beautiful photography, check out her website at www.irinawerning.com.

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100 Sled Dogs Slaughtered by Outdoor Adventures Whistler

January 31st, 2011 · Animal Rights Issues

Local news outlets have just reported this story about the horrific slaughter of 100 “sled dogs” by Outdoor Adventures Whistler in April 2010 following a post-Olympic Games slump in business.

These dogs, described on the Outdoor Adventures Whistler website as “energetic and loveable Alaskan Racing Huskies” were ordered to be killed and dumped in a mass grave when the company no longer considered them a lucrative commodity.

Worksafe BC documents obtained by local radio station CKNW show the employee was granted compensation for a claim of post-traumatic stress disorder following the incident. Outdoor Adventures Whistler has confirmed the story; in fact, they even made a correction: where the employee stated he had been ordered to kill 70 dogs, the employer reported 100 dogs had actually been destroyed.

The employee (whose name has not been released to the media) was allegedly ordered to shoot the dogs, though his lawyer, Cory Steinberg, has reported “It wasn’t always a clean, one-shot kill. Inevitably, he ended up seeing and having to put the end to some horrific scenes.”  Steinberg states most dogs had to be shot more than once, many had their throats slashed, and some were even tossed into the mass grave while still alive. Marcie Moriarty, the head of the BC SPCA cruelty investigations division describes the event as a massacre, adding, “The way he describes multiple shots and faces blown off and coming back on a second day is gruesome. I’ve never read anything quite like it.”

It has been reported that the dogs ordered to be killed were tethered up at the scene and forced to witness the gruesome slaughter of their companions. Not surprisingly, several news outlets have also reported some of the dogs were so traumatized by the ordeal that they attacked the employee in an attempt to protect one another and themselves.

While this is a truly shocking and devastating story, this kind of cruelty is not an isolated event and the problem runs much deeper than this single incident. As Moriarty explains, “There is a problem with the sled dog industry in general. People see these 20 sled dogs, an idyllic setting with snow in the background and think how great. But what they don’t see is the 200 dogs tethered and sleeping out back, chained to a barrel.” This is yet another example of the inhumane and intolerable treatment of animals used for human entertainment. These dogs were bred and raised solely to bring in a profit, and when business began to slump, the company considered them expendable.

If you are as outraged by this incident as I am, please write to Outdoor Adventures Whistler at info@adventureswhistler.com to express your disgust. Please share this story and ask others to join you in boycotting this company.

Read more here on the CKNW website, and here on the Vancouver Sun website.

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Bikram Yoga Tips for Beginners

January 17th, 2011 · The Yoga Diaries

Pye Trinidad demonstrating a few postures. Don't worry, you won't be expected to do this on your first day!

105 degrees Fahrenheit (that’s 40 degrees Celsius for my fellow Canadians), 40-60% humidity, 90 minutes, no escape. On top of that, you’ll sweat profusely, likely become nauseated/dizzy/disoriented or all of the above, and you’ll be half-naked and surrounded by mirrors to boot. Sounds fun, right? Bikram yoga is confronting and intense, and it’s definitely not for the faint of heart (although it can help with that, too!). But beyond all that, it is a whole-body, whole-mind, whole-heart form of exercise that has the power to completely change your life.

The Bikram yoga dialogue is faster and more specific than most other types of yoga, and for a yogi new to this particular form, it can seem like an information overload. While it is important to listen to all of the “lock your knees, bend forward from the waist, the stretch is in the pull” and do your best to follow the instructor’s guidance, as a beginner the most critical thing is to listen to your body and only push as hard as you are able without keeling over. Start slow and stay calm: it’ll get easier, I promise. I’ve been doing this form of yoga off-and-on for a few years, and when I return to the studio after a hiatus, I think of myself as a new student and follow a simple set of guidelines to help me get back into my practice without wanting to give up after the first few classes back. The tips below are for new Bikram yogis, but even the more advanced students often have to remind themselves of these things at some point in their practice.

  • Focus on your breath: Breathe slowly and deeply through your nose and try to keep your breathing steady throughout the entire class. There will be times when a posture feels so intense that you’ll notice your breathing speed up and become more laboured: back off just enough to resume a normal, comfortable breathing pattern and really focus on the breath itself. Visualize it moving throughout your body into the places where you feel the most discomfort. When you breathe slowly and calmly through your nose, your heart rate slows and you’ll be able to combat any dizziness and nausea that may come up throughout the class. Mouth breathing is not only irritating for those around you (no seriously, it is: I once spent a class beside a man who actually began to snore at one point), but it actually takes a lot more energy than nose breathing and will leave you feeling exhausted and, well, breathless.
  • Don’t eat before class: Trust me on this one. That falafel you ate 30 minutes before class will come back to haunt you in a bad way. I usually eat three hours before class and I try to make it a relatively small, bland meal. Fruit makes me really burpy and garlic and onions (not to mention booze) just make your sweat smell terrible, so be mindful of what you’re putting into your body and try to go into class with an empty stomach.
  • Drink lots of water: That is, drink lots of water before and after class, but try to lay off the water bottle as much as possible during class. It’ll just make things more difficult for you, what, with all the back bends and forward bends, tightened tummies and choked throats. As a rule, you don’t drink water until after the third posture, and then you’re meant to drink it as you need it, but not during postures. I try to have a quick sip right after the standing series and as little as possible for the rest of class, which most often is none at all. That being said, I have an acid reflux problem and too much water is simply bad news for me, so drink when you need it but try to keep it to a minimum.
  • Don’t be late: Give yourself adequate time before class to sign in — and fill out forms if it’s your very first class — get changed, and score a decent spot in the room where you can see yourself in the front mirror without blocking those behind you. It also helps to spend a few minutes in savasana before class begins to adjust to the heat and establish a long, calm pattern of breath. During class, follow the teacher’s instruction and try not to get into each posture late. This may be a little difficult while you familiarize yourself with the postures but it’ll become easier, even automatic, before long.
  • Wear as little as possible: For women, short-shorts and a sports bra is best. For men, light and comfortable shorts and NO t-shirt. The extra clothing will just get in the way and make you much hotter during class. Don’t worry, no one’s looking at you, and we’re all almost-naked anyway. Get over it.
  • Stop touching yourself: (I don’t mean this in a pervy way, but if you’re touching yourself  like that, you should stop that, too.) It’s damn hard to just stay still in this class: you’ll be tempted to scratch your itches, tug at your shorts, and most commonly, wipe away all that nasty sweat. But doing this will shift your focus from your breath and make the class even more difficult to get through. And that sweat’s not going to go away; you can wipe it all you want, but it’ll just keep coming back. Sweat is actually designed to regulate your body temperature, so cool it with the wiping!
  • Keep your eyes on the prize: As in your lovely face in the mirror. It’s not cool to be looking around at other people’s bums, and once again, it’ll make you lose focus. As a beginner, you may not understand all of the teacher’s verbal queues, so quickly check out the people in front of you for correct form when you need to, but try to keep your eyes on yourself throughout the rest of the class.
  • Check your ego and expectations at the door: I’ve done hundreds of Bikram yoga classes and even so, every class brings with it something new and different. Forget about what you can or should be doing and just be observant of what you’re actually doing in that moment.This form of yoga is an excellent teacher in giving up control and accepting that your strengths and weaknesses change from day to day. And don’t try to compete with the other yogis; this is a time to focus wholly on yourself and be respectful of your limitations. Relinquish your judgments and attachments and let your body be your guide. Notice what you’re feeling and experiencing without becoming overwhelmed by it, acknowledge it, and then let it go.
  • Come back tomorrow: “Umm yeah right, Blige.” you say as your boyfriend rolls you out of bed the next morning and helps you lower yourself down to the toilet to pee. But trust me on this one: there’s nothing better for sore muscles than yoga in a hot room. Just take it as easy as you need and go at your own pace. The stiffness and soreness will steadily decrease over time, and the more you practice, the better you’ll feel. This yoga is transformative: all you have to do is be consistent in your practice and take it one day — one class — at a time.

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Resolution, Revolution

December 31st, 2010 · Arts and Culture

Year of the Rabbit

As we approach the beginning of a brand new, untarnished year, many of us are looking back on the years behind us and anticipating the one to come. It’s a time of reflection, reevaluation, redirection, and restructuring. The movement into a new year gives us another opportunity to repair and amend the things that haven’t been working in our favor and step a little closer to living the life we really want.

2011 is the Year of the Rabbit, which, according to theholidayspot.com is going to be:

“A placid year, very much welcomed and needed after the ferocious year of the Tiger. We should go off to some quiet spot to lick our wounds and get some rest after all the battles of the previous year.

Good taste and refinement will shine on everything and people will acknowledge that persuasion is better than force. A congenial time in which diplomacy, international relations and politics will be given a front seat again. We will act with discretion and make reasonable concessions without too much difficulty.

A time to watch out that we do not become too indulgent. The influence of the Rabbit tends to spoil those who like too much comfort and thus impair their effectiveness and sense of duty.”

I like this. 2010 was an unsteady, turbulent year for me and I’m more than ready to move into a calmer, more stable environment.

That being said, I also want to cause (or perhaps just participate in) a clamor and effect important social change. I want to be empowered to act bravely and thoughtfully, as well as to empower others to do the same.

In the latest issue of Adbusters appears a quote by Lawrence Morley (Progressive Anarchist) about acting on our dissatisfaction for the betterment of self and society. Here’s an excerpt from that quote:

“Revolt, if it is to be successful, must come from the mind; a growing unease and dissatisfaction with things as they are. Revolt may be leaderless, but it cannot be idea-less. Revolt, if one examines the idea, is not a new or unusual thing, merely a reversal of direction. We do it often, sometimes silently, sometimes angrily, but we do it. A choice is seen in greater clarity than before and we merely accept the path which gives us greater benefits, even if it is different from one we chose before. So revolt, to be successful, must present with greater clarity and force of argument the reasons for taking an alternative path to that one now in use, must convince that what one has now is insignificant compared to what one could have, and must present the methods by which this change could be made.”

The Velvet Revolution, Prague

It is critical to our well-being that we are able to recognize and acknowledge those areas in our lives that we are not satisfied with. Without some degree of dissatisfaction we will become inert. In order to experience evolution of the self there must be a deep-seated and nearly constant desire for improvement. We must be attentive to and respectful of our needs (and the needs of others), and committed to continual forward movement in pursuit of our goals. We must always strive for emotional peace and self awareness; a successful society is contingent upon consisting of healthy and happy individuals.

This year, I’m resolving to conquer any restrictive fear that dissuades me from living a bold life and acting to my full potential. I’m resolving to embrace and nurture the creative force within me and find the strength to laugh off my missteps along the way.  I am resolving to be more comfortable with uncertainty, because it is a constant in our lives; to relax my grip and be more present in the moment; to be less judgemental of myself and my experiences, and to be more observant and accepting of the things I am working on changing, the things that need to be changed, and the things that cannot be changed.

Here is what I wish for you in the coming year and all of those to follow:

Respect and protect the environment (we don’t get a do-over if we screw this one up beyond repair); imagine and strive for a just world; find inspiration in your surroundings; worry less about cleaning the kitchen and spend more time dancing, reading, or doing whatever makes you happy; make friends with your emotions and be kind to them; be patient with yourself and others; appreciate all that you have and don’t be a slave to consumerism; shift your perspective if you’re having trouble seeing; do something that scares you; free yourself of comparisons and judgement; quiet your mind and open your heart; pledge to inform yourself about what’s happening on your planet; eat less meat and be less wasteful; love and be loved; don’t be motionless: cause a stir.

Students sit in a formation during New Year celebrations outside their school in the western Indian city of Ahmedabad December 31, 2010. REUTERS/Amit Dave

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Lhasa de Sela and Beautiful Sea Creatures

December 30th, 2010 · Inspired

I often look to art, music, and literature for inspiration, and sometimes I’m sweetly surprised by an unexpected encounter with something that moves my soul and incites a creative fire in my heart.

The photos below from underwater shoots are so ethereal and full of whimsy that they send me straight into lovely daydreams of mermaids and fanciful kingdoms under the sea.

Shot by the Italian photographer Nadia Moro

Shot by Tri Kiet Vuong, Model: Charis Fossen

Shot by Jacques Dequeker, Model: Emanuela de Paula

*          *          *

I’ve also really been feeling the soulful music of Lhasa de Sela, who passed away from breast cancer a year ago on January 1st. She was an incredibly talented singer-songwriter who defied musical genres and wrote beautiful lyrics in English, Spanish, and French.

Her music can be haunting and eerie, soft and peaceful, sad and longing, or playful and airy, but is always purely honest and ripe with emotion. She borrowed inspiration from European gypsy music, country and ranchera, latin folk music, and blues, and she performed every song with the wisdom and soul of someone far beyond her years.

You can hear more clips from Lhasa de Sela here.

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Struggle Harder

December 30th, 2010 · The Yoga Diaries

I have to admit, I’ve been a rather fair-weather friend of Bikram yoga over the last few years. This particular form of yoga is a significant investment (primarily of time, but also energy), and it isn’t difficult or uncommon for life to get in the way of regular practice. Throughout busy periods at work, times of high stress, and frequent changes to my schedule, I’ve often neglected yoga just when I’ve needed it the most. It’s kind of like that very wise and supportive friend who provides lots of comfort and love when you really need it, but who will just as soon tell you you’re being an idiot (when you truly are) and help to identify areas in your life that may need some work.

After struggling with a nasty GI problem for months and feeling somewhat helpless to improve both my physical and mental health, I decided to get back into the studio, despite fears that working my butt off in a hot room for 90 minutes might make the nausea worse. Surprisingly, I felt totally fine during my first class back (after yet another absence from Bikram’s) and I just kept going. I haven’t been able to exercise much otherwise, since jolty movements aggravate the GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease), but Bikram’s is the perfect form of hatha yoga for me and has steadily been improving my overall health.

I do this yoga almost daily primarily for stress management and reduction, since my doctor, naturopath and I believe my GI condition was either entirely or partially caused by elevated stress. Always at these times, my body totally freaks out and rebels to send me the message that I need to slow down and start properly managing my stress level. As the stress starts to float away, my physical health begins to improve and my body returns to homeostasis.

I’ve been feeling pretty strong in almost every class over the last month or so, but I’ve been struggling for the past few days because I feel like I’m fighting off a virus. Class has been really tough on these days, but I’ve managed to push through and still work fairly hard. Although I feel pretty wiped out during class and throughout the rest of the day, the yoga is boosting my immune system, and I’ve felt much better on the days I’ve done yoga than I did on the day I took off.

Today’s class was particularly difficult for me; I was feeling less than awesome and it started out rocky. I struggled to remain balanced during the first breathing exercise (pranayama) and half moon pose was also a little wobbly. Then, my nose ring fell out and I placed it at the back of my towel. In the very next pose (standing head to knee), my contact lens escaped the eye that happens to be my worse eye. I struggled to see myself in the mirror and my focus and concentration was just about shot. In the middle of the same pose I pulled my mat closer — right in front, in fact — to the mirror. I shouldn’t have done that, since it’s disruptive for the other yogis in the room, but now I could see better and I resolved to get through the rest of the class with better focus and as fiercely as I could. I was still more like a house cat than a bengal tiger in my practice, but sometimes just making it to the end of class without burning out or jumping ship is enough to make you feel much stronger and more confident, and better equipped to deal with the rest of your day.

My Bikram yoga practice completely translates to my life outside of the hot room; it empowers me and centres my being. Every class brings with it a new lesson and better understanding of yourself. Somewhere in the struggle you confront head-on whatever difficulty you may be experiencing. By learning to be patient and understanding with yourself in those moments, and by reminding yourself of your ability to overcome adversity, your confidence and calmness automatically improves both inside and out of the yoga studio. Practicing yoga regularly keeps me balanced, calm, focused, and present in my everyday life.

Today I had to struggle harder, and by being able to pull myself together enough to get through the class, I was reminded of my ability to accomplish great things.  After getting some yummy vegan food at the restaurant beneath the yoga studio, I rewarded myself with a new book by one of my very favorite authors (The General in His Labyrinth, Gabriel Garcia Marquez), went home and fell asleep almost immediately after I opened it up.

My kitty demonstrates head to knee pose beautifully

(The Bikram Yoga Vancouver website has a lot of great information about Bikram yoga, as well as an interesting blog.)

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